If twins are supposed to share some sort of special sibling bond, mine apparently didn’t get the memo.

My son has a heart approximately the size of Texas, but prefers for no one to know it. When it’s storming outside or she’s had a bad dream, he’ll invite his sister to sleep in his bunk bed . . . and if she’s afraid to climb to the top bunk, he’ll trade out and climb up there himself.

By day, however, he has one rule: keep yourself out of my room. Walking down the hallway a few days ago, I discovered he had drawn a sign to hang on his door:

“I’m either playing, at practice, or listening to music or playing Madden 13. So Rachel stay out! And stop inviting Krislyn over.”

The note ended with a thinly-veiled threat: “There is a camera.”

Perhaps not surprisingly, a similar sign appeared on Rachel’s door within hours:

“Dear boys, stay out of my bedroom. No matter what stay out! Oh and plus, I am inviting Krislyn so haha on you! I’m either playing, dancing, sleeping or at practice. Oh, and danger: hidden camera. From, the girls. 🙂


“P.S. again: There’s a dog.”

I’m thinking of making my own sign to hang on my door. It’ll go something like this:

“Dear kids, I’m sleeping. Unless you’re vomiting or the smoke alarm is going off or a burglar is breaking in, leave me alone between the hours of eleven and seven. Stop waking me up at six o’clock to tell me you’re ready for breakfast! And, Toby, stop playing basketball in the house at 5:30 in the morning.

“P.S. There’s no camera or dog (except your puppy who spends his nights whining and barking in my bathroom so that he keeps me awake instead of you) but there is an angry momma, and she means business.”

■ Ben Garrett is the Independent Herald editor. Contact him at